Stress Addiction

Stress is like an energy booster to me... I love the days when all the work load is on my shoulders. As I finish one task, another comes and another after that... I act sharper and more organized under stress. Busy days make me feel alive, dynamic and happy. Time flies by and the day ends, leaving me behind peaceful and satisfied... And today was one of those days :)

Miracles of Mirissa

Ohh how much I want to be in Mirissa right now! At that lovely guest house I used to go almost every second weekend... I cannot recall the name right now, it's been four years... I want to lie down on the wooden chaise lounges beneath those coconut trees on the beach, soaking up the sun and feeling the sweat drops running down on my neck... That was the best place to sleep. The ocean was never too loud, the beach was never too crowded and the sun was always generous.

And I want to climb on that hill again... It rested awkwardly and rebelliously in the middle of the coastline. You could see the whole beach from the top. Feeling the strong sea breeze sweeping over my face, clearing the bitter feelings off of my soul, I want to watch the horizon. I want to sit there alone, let my hair fly, my heart cry... Until I feel free again...

Percentage Puppet

I suddenly came to realize today... Seems like I have zillions of tiny persons inside me wandering around constantly. Some chatter, some flatter, some depress, some bless, some fear and some dare... They are entirely black, like silhouettes. Cute, rounded, short boys... So small in size. They all look the same but they all have their own individual moods. Sadly, as they are too small to perceive or even notice, I have neither been able to hear their thoughts nor understand their feelings for all my life. I definetely do not know what changes their mood, however I guess the state of my mind changes accordingly. I have to explain at this point that my mood can change without any notice or irrespective of any significant event. I may be ecstatic one day and melancholic the other... But until today, I have never known why that happened. What I realized today is that there might be a percentage within my body which determines my mood. The percentage of my silhouette boys! Here is the maths... If more than %50 of my boys are depressed, then so am I. And if the majority is happy, then I am too! No need to look for any other reason or search for answers! No need to blame anyone else but my boys... Why haven't I realized this before? I am the puppet of my silhouette boys...

Uykusuz

Her gece gözlerinden uyku akana kadar, artık bir dakika daha ayakta durmaya gücü kalmayana, midesi bulanana, başı ağrıyana kadar uykuya direnen bir insan neyin peşindedir ki? Başını yaslayacağı bir omzun mu?...